Five Ridiculous Things People Say to Those Struggling to Conceive (and How to Survive Them)
Nov 28, 2024![Frustrated Women](https://kajabi-storefronts-production.kajabi-cdn.com/kajabi-storefronts-production/file-uploads/blogs/2147738108/images/22ff8f-b0a-e4ad-6a10-141df1fe8_0d688185-7257-4236-8a5e-dbd8de68732a.webp)
Letâs be realâfertility is a subject that often gets tiptoed around. And thatâs a shame, considering that 1 in 6 couples face fertility challenges, and 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. So, why is it still such a taboo topic?
Many women struggling with infertility have told me they hesitate to share their journey with friends and family. The reason? When they do open up, theyâre often met with insensitive comments or unsolicited advice that leaves them feeling worse.
If youâve been on the receiving end of these misguided pearls of wisdom, youâre not alone. Here are five of the most annoying things people say to someone navigating infertilityâalong with what you wish you could say and what you actually said instead.
1. âYou should try IVF!â
What you want to say:
Wow, what an original idea! Itâs not like Iâve spent hours researching it or considering it already. Oh wait, I did try it. Did you know it'sâ expensive, emotionally draining, and doesnât guarantee success. But thanks for the genius suggestionâyou really saved the day!
What you actually said:
âThanks for the advice. Iâve tried IVF, but unfortunately, it didnât work. Weâre still weighing our options for the future.â
2. âYou can always adopt.â
What you want to say:
Ah, adoptionâthe magical solution! Because itâs fast, free, and totally easy, right? Oh, wait⊠itâs actually an expensive and complicated process with no guarantees. But thanks for the reminder. Iâll be sure to keep you updated (or not).
What you actually said:
âWeâve considered adoption and even started the process. Fingers crossed for now!â
3. âDonât worry, I know someone who had their first baby at 55.â
What you want to say:
Really? With her own eggs? Sure. Because biology works like that. But thanks for the laughâI needed it.
What you actually said:
âWow, really? Thatâs incredible! Thanks for sharingâit gives me hope.â
4. âYou just need to relax.â
What you want to say:
Oh, of course! The secret to conception is a bubble bath and some wine. Iâll just kick back and wait for the stork. But wait, didnât you also say my life is easier because I donât have kids yet? So which is it? Iâm confused. Pass the wine.
What you actually said:
âMaybe youâre right. Speaking of relaxing, want another glass of wine?â
5. âYou can have one of mine!
What you want to say:
Great, letâs draw up the paperwork. Youâll hand over custody, and Iâll take him home tonight. Donât worry, Iâll explain it all to the authorities when they come looking for him. Actually, never mindâheâs too much like you. You can keep him.
What you actually said:
âI said Iâm struggling to have kids, not that Iâm losing my mind! But thanks for the offer lolâ
Finding Humor in the Chaos
I hope this gave you a chuckle because letâs face itâsometimes laughter really is the best medicine. Sharing these kinds of stories with others on the same journey can bring much-needed comic relief and remind you that youâre not alone.
The truth is, most people donât mean to be insensitive. Infertility is a subject so many are uncomfortable discussing, and they simply donât know how to provide the right support. Until that changes, weâll likely keep hearing this kind of advice.
But maybe, we can help shift the conversation and create more awarenessâone awkward comment at a time.
Stay tuned for more humor and support along this journey. đ
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